What Was I Thinking?

THE GIBSON BLOG

2009-01-01T22:07:00.002-07:00

Matt and I are going to start blogging.......TOGETHER :-)
So check it out....this blog will be shutting down soon :-(

http://mattandadriennegibson.blogspot.com

Appointment Update

2008-12-29T22:17:00.003-07:00

Had a Dr's visit this last Friday. We actually spoke to the Dr about having a scheduled C-Section at 39 weeks!!! Wouldn't it be awesome to be pregnant for 39 weeks??? Blood pressure was perfect, babies growth from the ultra sound picture was perfect. So once again, another perfect pregnancy at this point!

First Haircut

2008-12-29T22:12:00.006-07:00

The mullet and curls are gone!!!!

Ryland + Dry wall = Emergency Room

2008-11-19T21:55:00.005-07:00

Ryland likes to play in the laundry room and unfortunately Tuesday night he had a left over piece of drywall fall over and bang him on the head and face and it cut his cheek open. It was not very wide but we were concerned with how deep it was. In the ER they decided to glue it up instead of stitch it up. It was almost comical at how relaxed he was and how upset we were. He did not cry as they poked his face to open his cut and he did not cry as they held his head and glued it back together. He is a champ...here are some pictures of his funny looking glue face :-)

This picture is proof that he does love to play in the laundry room and usually nothing very serious happens, he just gets stuck in some weird places!!!

Rylands Pictures

2008-11-06T21:28:00.004-07:00

Ryland got his one-year pictures taken at the McCormick Railroad park. We are keeping most of them secret because they are Christmas gifts for our family so it would not be right to post them, then give them as gifts :-) But here is a sneak peak at a few....I couldnt help it because he is so darn cute!!!

oil changes

2008-10-10T11:42:00.002-07:00

i HATE getting the oil changed in my car. you go in for a $30.00 service and leave paying double or triple that. i am always being told that everything 30,000 miles i need to have the transmission flushed and the steering fluid. then there is the engine flush which is recommended. have you checked your air filter? because i dont know ANYTHING about cars, they hold all the power because they have the know-how and i dont. i want to take good care of my car, i want it to last as long as possible. i hate going and having to pay so much money!

1st Birthday!!!

2008-10-02T11:11:00.001-07:00

Yep, I know...Rylands first birthday was a little over a month ago, but I am just now getting around to getting some pictures up so you can see all the fun festivities. His actual birthday was spent at a Diamonback's game with the family. Then that weekend we had a baseball themed birthday party for him :-)

I'm Gonna Do It

2008-09-28T16:20:00.003-07:00

So I made a mom's group on yahoo groups, since it is free. Now all I have to do is invite people since right now it is not private. So everyone who wrote me about being interested in joining the group please send me your email and I will send you an "invite" to the group. The way I am hoping it will work is that each month someone will be assigned the month and they will pick one free activity and one paying activity and schedule it on the group calendar. I think this will work because one of the the reasons I wanted to join a group instead of starting one is because I am at such a loss when it comes to activites to do with little kids so we will all get a taste of what is out there from all the other moms. I am thinking we will try to get it up and running in November, just in time for the crazy holidays!!!! I am really excited about this and thank you to everyone who has been patiently waiting to see what I finally decided about all of this. This has been hard to commit to but I think it is going to be so worth it.

update :-)

2008-09-09T22:06:00.002-07:00

So someone was saying the other day that I was getting behind in my blog, which I do have to agree with and at first i complained and said I have nothing to really blog about!!! uhhmmm......oops, I guess I do. Matt and I are going to be having another baby!!! yeps I am preggers again. As of now we are due around April 30th. I am hoping for an early May baby but for all of those who know how I tend to go a little early instead of later, we'll see how that goes :-)

Mom's Group Anyone???

2008-08-13T16:59:00.002-07:00

I am thinking of starting a moms group!!!!! Just for me to write that sentence is such a huge accomplishment. All I know is that I am really really not good at being a stay at home mom, but I do not feel that I should be working full time right now, since I have the opportunity to stay home. I have looked into the moms group thing and actually joined one when Ryland was a preemie and was not allowed to hang out with other kids. That group has disbanded. I have heard not so great things about the East Mesa mom's group and also have not had an easy time finding a group where there would be a good group of kiddo's around a year or younger. Many of them are composed of older kids. So for many of the women reading this, you have, or are having children in the near future and maybe are interested in heading up a group with me. So let me know what you think???

Maryland Pictures

2008-08-11T20:37:00.003-07:00

So our family took a four day trip to Maryland and the only day I whipped out my camera was at Gettysburg, so I do not have a lot of pictures of our first family trip, oh well....Aunt Jill is going to have to send me some :-)

I AM HOME

2008-08-06T14:21:00.004-07:00

We survived. I don't ever want to do that ever again and yes, I know that never is a long time. Ryland was such a trooper. He might even be a better traveler than his mom. On Friday, August 1st we had a two hour flight to Dallas/Fort Worth, then a three hour layover, then a three hour flight to Baltimore. Our three hour layover turned into six hour layover and after boarding the flight we sat on it (not even moving to the runway) for 48 minutes. So my 9:30pm arrival time in Baltimore turned into my midnight arrival time. I was BEAT!!! Ryland did not even cry on any of the flights. He was bored and squirmy but he managed.
On our way home, Tuesday, August 5th we left Baltimore at 3:50pm and arrived in Dallas/Forth Worth for our three hour layover. We did board the plane on time but again we sat on the plane, without AC for 45 minutes. We arrived into Phoenix at 10:15pm and had to wait almost an hour for our luggage because they would not let the baggage guys get the luggage because there was lightening. UUugggghhh.....and I know everyone has these airline stories, I have plenty...I was just hoping to not have any including my 11 month old son.
So on to FIRST CLASS :-) Ryland and I flew first class since I redeemed airline miles for this flight. First class is a whole different world and I am going to have a hard time going back to coach now knowing what goes on up there. You get complimentary alcohol, hot mixed nuts, fresh baked cookies and snacks. And by snacks I do not mean a bag of something. My options were a roasted tomato and turkey wrap or a bbq chicken salad with foccacia cheese bread. Give me a break. All the while, back in coach, they are charging for sodas. Now I was not able to enjoy any of the drinks or food because I had a squirmy child on my lap, but it sure was nice to "pretend" to be a part of that world for a little bit :-)

Traveling

2008-07-29T09:50:00.003-07:00

Matt, Ryland, and I are off to Maryland this Friday. The bummer is that Matt and I will be on separate flights. Matt has an airplane voucher that he had to use and I used my airline miles so Ryland and I will be flying first class. I am so so so nervous about flying with Ryland right now. It has been the hardest two weeks with him. He has been cranky and fussy and fidgety. So I am really not looking foward to this. We will be traveling for almost nine hours and we have a three hour layover in DFW that hopefully will help because Ryland will be able to crawl around in some little dirty corner of the airport :-)I am hoping this is something that I do not look back on as a really difficult experience.

thank you to candace????

2008-07-25T08:55:00.005-07:00

so i am going to participate in the "tag your it" thing-a-ma-bobby and list the 7 songs that are shaping my summer. i recently received notificiation that i was listed on candace's blog as a hostage participant! :-) what an interesting question and at first, really no songs were popping into my mind so i had to really ponder......

1. Jimmy Eat World: Let It Happen. I went to my fourth Jimmy concert this summer and once again I thoroughly enjoyed the music and the show and seeing my friend. I guess I am a true groupy!

2. Hillsong United: Mighty To Save. I love hearing Matt do this song on Sunday. This is one of my favorite worship songs right now.

3. Jennifer Knapp: Jesus Loves Me. Ryry's top lullaby pick right now. I sing this to him every night :-)

4. Linkin Park: What I've Done. Big fan of the group and love their new music.

5. Matt Redman: Never Let Go. I went through some difficult stuff at the beginning of summer and this song resonated with me and helped me to get through some stuff.

6. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova: Lies. This song and group speaks for themselves!

7. Jimmy Eat World: Hear You Me. I always thought there must be an amazing story behind this song and I learned what it is this summer and yes, it is an amazing story!

Birthdays!!!

2008-07-03T20:51:00.003-07:00

I am so at a lost trying to figure out how to navigate the world of first birthdays. I have no idea what to do. Ryland's first birthday is August 21st and all I know is that it is soooooo hot in August. So that really leaves no other option than a pool party if I want to have more kids over to help celebrate. Plus it seems really easy for these things to get way out of hand and the spending spree can begin. I mean for a first birthday that they wont even remember. So do I have a pool party? Do I not....do I do something just with family.....do I try to invite all of my friends with kids and those without kids that love ryry.....uuuuuhhhhhggggggg......this is only the beginning, huh?

I LOVE this man!!!!

2008-06-02T22:15:00.004-07:00

I secretly turned 30 a few weeks ago. It was a secret because Matt and I snuck away to Jamaica for it to happen. Matt and I got to go on our second honeymoon and it was AMAZING!! We were kids again, oh ya...we left the little one with grammie and pappa and I am sure they had fun. For seven days we slept on the beach, read on the beach, drank on the beach, played on the beach. I just gotta say, my man rocks for giving me the best birthday present ever...a whole week away with him.

One Amazing Spring!

2008-04-06T13:49:00.006-07:00

Tongue Ring

2008-02-19T10:49:00.002-07:00

(my first post trying to type and holding my son at the same time). so i work very very part time for a christian organization and i have been told that i cannot wear my tongue ring to work. when i asked why, i was told....well what if one of your clients says to theirparents, i want my tongue pierced because my therapist has their tongue pierced. my response was...that is a great chance for that parent to do some parenting and say...well when you get to be her age you can get your tongue pierced, or to just simply say no. i was then told that this is not how this agency wants to represent itself (so that is the real reason). then it becomes a personal challenge for me. do i want to work somewhere were i need to represent something that i am not? people come to see me and i expect them to try to be truly who they are and to be as open and honest with me as they can....at the same time, i cannot be...because it is not what the agency wants to represent. i have been working in such a different reality for so long i forgot about places like this.

Home Sick

2008-02-12T18:25:00.000-07:00

Well I have found something that does not change much even when you are a mom. I am home sick. When you have a job you get to stay home sick and even when you have a baby you get to stay home sick. My mom and Matt have been balancing taking care of Ryland so I dont get him sick. At this time I am also very frustrated. My in-laws came to visit and they came sick. I guess I assumed that people know you cannot be sick around an infant, especially a preemie who has a weakened immune system. But no, not everyone knows that. So we got to visit and catch up and one of them got to play with the baby, we told the other one they could not, because they were sick. And the morning they left I was stuck in bed with the shakes and a 102 degree fever. So I am very frustrated and trying to let go of it and move on. There are people in our lives who just seem to make things more difficult when they only desire to make things easier. It just doesnt seem to work out.

Mommyhood

2008-01-27T17:54:00.001-07:00

I think I am going a little crazy and I am just going to put it out there. Being a mom is so freakin hard. I thought I had a hard stressful job but there is a part of me that just longs to be able to go back to work. And yet my "mommy" job is not stressful at all. It is just NEVER ENDING. I dont get lunch breaks. I cannot shut my office door and turn off the phone to get work done. I dont have the weekends off. And when I am tired from a long days work, I dont get to turn in early and catch up on some much needed sleep.
Having a preemie during cold and flu season has not made things easier. I have to keep Ryland away from people and especially from little kids. So that means during the day, the only people who are home are stay at home moms, but I cannot hang out with them because they have kids and the women who do not have kids are away at work. And then at night, when I can get out of the house without Ryland, all of my non-mom friends are too tired to hang out from working all day. It is amazing to me how every day I can love something so much and dislike something so much. I didnt know being a mom was so amazing and so lonely.
That is the one word that sums up so much of what I am feeling right now, very alone. I dont have many friends that are moms and the few I do went back to work which is incredibly ironic because I use to watch a few of them stay at home with their kids all day and wonder how they do it but knew that once I did at least I would have some good company.
Complain complain complain. I know that is all I am doing while having a job that many women long for. I am just trying to find MY place in this new life.

Baby Came Early

2007-09-27T12:34:00.001-07:00

Pregnant = Scary

2007-08-16T12:17:00.000-07:00

Being pregnant is scary. It's funny that you never think about that when you are trying to get pregnant. I have been to the hospital twice this week. I went in Tuesday at 1am because of a horrible headache. They tell you that if anything is above and beyond normal, call the doctor. So while I was there, the headache was no big deal but the contractions I was having were. Unfortunately, I could not feel the contractions. Tuesday, I decided to go to work and got a call from my doctor and was told to go back to the hospital so they could monitor the contractions that I was not feeling. Things seem ok and they are a little worried about my blood pressure and hypertension problems. Its just scary that this was all happening and I didnt even know it and would not have known it had it not been for the very unimportant headache I was having.
Ultimately, the hard part is not being in control. I have very little control on what is happening inside me. I can control what I eat, working out, taking it easy, taking vitamins and that's about it! Everything else, God is doing inside of me. There is nothing I can do beyond that. I am seeing the doctor again today and I am a little worried about bed rest. It is hard to not stress when all I do is listen to people's stressors. So we'll see :-)

Baby Baby Baby

2007-06-18T16:43:00.000-07:00

My Baby Boy's Hand. He must be waving hi to mom, dad and the world :-)

May 6-12, 2007

2007-05-09T15:28:00.000-07:00

It is Children's Mental Health Awareness Week.

*It has been estimated that almost 21% of US children ages 9-17 have a diagnosable mental or addictive disorder associated with at least minimum impairment.

*With early detection and appropriate treatment, chances are excellent that most children with mental health needs can recover and lead healthy lives.

*The treatment success rate for children's mental health disorders is 80%.

Baby News

2007-05-08T12:43:00.000-07:00

We are having a BOY!!!!

Coming Back???

2007-04-26T11:17:00.000-07:00

So I have been gone from the blogger world for awhile. And the reason is.... most of the blogs I would read and participate in are theologically based. When I first came home, I was very into the debate since I was fresh out of Seminary and had oh so much wisdom to contribute (ha ha ha). Now, my day to day world is focused so greatly on psychology and counseling. After awhile, I felt I did not have to much to contribute and many discussions and articles were hard for me to follow and I felt so out of the loop. I also did not know what to write about. Do people really want to know what it is like to work with sick children? I have much to complain about when it comes to meth-addict parenting. Who really wants to hear about my grumblings and frustrations with government based mental health programs? But in reality, that is what I am about right now. I would love to have free time to read some of those books I didnt get to in Seminary. Or some of the recommended books on people's blogs. But when I have free time I read about child-centered therapy, or working with difficult families. That is where my heart and passion is, that is where my free time is going to be focused. For me it will be fun to share a little part of my world, because kids are amazing to work with. They remind me that I need to approach christ like a child would.

Well I'll be....

2007-04-16T12:35:00.001-07:00

This is a partial transcript from "The O'Reilly Factor," April 18, 2006, that has been edited for clarity.

BILL O'REILLY, HOST: Two Duke lacrosse players have been arrested and charged with rape among other violent crimes. They are free on $400,000 bail. As you may know, the students attended a party where a stripper hired by the lacrosse team said she was raped. With us now civil rights activist Reverend Al Sharpton. Is this a racial issue?

REV. AL SHARPTON, CIVIL RIGHTS ACTIVIST: I think that there are certainly a lot of racial factors. Whether it is directly in the case, we'll see, because some reports said that there was racial language used. But I think that when you look at the racial atmosphere, when you look at the fact that there again were the allegations of racial statements, when you look at a lot of people feeling that they have been treated differently, where this girl has basically had a character charged in the media, there is a lot of racism that's in the air. Having said that, I commend a lot of the blacks and whites who stood vigil and to come together in that community to stand up for this girl. So I think in the midst of this, there is some good.

O'REILLY: Why are we standing up for the girl if there is the possibility, based upon evidence, that the girl may have fabricated the story? Why don't we all pull back and let the authorities investigate and let the legal system work?

SHARPTON: Well, first of all, the authorities have charged there was a crime, so they are not saying that at all. Second of all, people on any side of an argument have the ride to advocate on behalf of who they believe. Thirdly, I think that when the prosecutors went forward, they clearly have said this girl is the victim, so why would we be trying the victim and not the...

O'REILLY: I don't want to try anybody, but there is enough evidence that has surfaced here. We have evidence that DNA doesn't match the kids. We have evidence that ABC News uncovered that there is a recording made by a security guard who looked at the victim after she said she was raped and said there was no problem and we have a police officer who found the victim drunk in a car in a 7-Eleven who phoned it in before she went to the hospital. So when you have three elements like that, I say there is reasonable doubt right now. You know what the grand jury proceeding is.

SHARPTON: Absolutely.

O'REILLY: It's a one-sided proceeding.

SHARPTON: But I think that all of the facts that you have laid out the DA had — and I know this DA is probably not one that is crazy. He would not have proceeded if he did not feel that he could convict. So it tells me that all of what you said is either not true or he has convincing evidence that would certainly knock that out and no one is not letting him proceed. You know, a lot of those community leaders down there, pro and con, wanted a lot of people to come in. I know for a fact asked Jesse Jackson to come, we said we don't want to be (INAUDIBLE)...

O'REILLY: So you didn't go down, Jackson did go down. I don't want what happened to Amadou Diallo, remember Amadou Diallo.

SHARPTON: Oh, absolutely.

O'REILLY: He was the African immigrant who was shot by police, shot dead here in New York and there were demonstrations. You were out there demonstrating and all that. And then when the trial came, the jury, which included African-Americans said not guilty.

SHARPTON: No, you jumped too far. They moved the trial out of town.

O'REILLY: Doesn't matter.

SHARPTON: It matters a whole lot. If that trial had happened in New York where people were very clear on that street crime unit, the results would have been different. The case this reminds me of, Bill — let's talk about the case this parallels.

O'REILLY: It does.
SHARPTON: This case parallels Abner Louima, who was raped and sodomized in a bathroom like this girl has alleged she was. That's the case and just like in the Louima case, you have people here saying she fabricated it. They said he fabricated it — two guys in jail right now for that.

O'REILLY: And that was fine. I'm all for that.

SHARPTON: And we marched there.

O'REILLY: Here's my point. The jury system worked in the Louima case, OK.

SHARPTON: The jury system worked after we were assured by our protests there would be a jury. I don't think...

O'REILLY: Would you say the jury system worked in the Louima case?

SHARPTON: Ultimately.

O'REILLY: And I would submit the jury system worked in the Diallo case as well.

SHARPTON: No, I wouldn't.

O'REILLY: Because you didn't get the verdict you wanted.

SHARPTON: The change of venue.

O'REILLY: So what? That's what they ruled.

SHARPTON: Even then we accepted it as something we disagreed with. Nobody is burning down New York. Nobody is burning down Durham. I think, what I don't accept is for people to act like this young lady, no matter what her profession — and I think people need to know she is a mother, a divorced mother of two and a student, that we ought to be putting her on trial rather than these two that are getting indicted.

O'REILLY: She is going to be put on trial, you know that.

SHARPTON: The one charged with the crime is the two that paid to go home. Is she charged with a crime, Bill?

O'REILLY: No. If you were the lawyer for the kids whose lives are in the balance here, you would certainly try to tell the jury that this witness had a questionable past, did some things that weren't up and up.

SHARPTON: First of all, they better be prepared to see if she is the only witness. You don't know what other people are going to testify. You don't know what other evidence they have. So let's not get ready to discredit the girl until we see the whole passage. That's what happened with Louima. We had more than Louima, so let's not assume just discrediting the girl will work this time.

O'REILLY: Let me be clear. Your stance is let the system work.

SHARPTON: My stance is that Reverend Bob of the NAACP and others down there are advising a lot of the community what happened, we're in touch with them and we're going to work and advise through them. We'll do whatever is necessary or not necessary.

O'REILLY: All right, but you don't know yet, You, Al Sharpton, don't know what happened.

SHARPTON: I don't know yet and I think that the proper thing to do is to support those that want justice
.
O'REILLY: All right. I'm all for that. I support justice. Always a pleasure. Thank you

Exciting News

2007-03-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

Matt and I are going to be parents this October 15th. YEAH!!!! So maybe now I will have tons of fun pregnancy stuff to blog about :-)

Gilbert

2006-07-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

So I was driving in Gilbert yesterday and I passed a huge orange billboard that said "CLOWNS HATE TANGELOS." Yah, thats it, that was all. Any ideas?

Where? Apache Junction

2006-06-15T15:26:00.000-07:00

Hello, my name is Adrienne and I work in Apache Junction. Yep good 'ol AJ. For anyone who has been to Apache Juntion, you are probably wondering, why the hell would you get a job out there? For anyone who has not been to AJ, count yourself lucky and stay far far away :-) Aj is such an interesting place. You take the 60 East until you pass all signs of civilization and then you are almost there. I started working out here in October, so at that time it was a mix of meth addicts and snow birds, which is a very weird combination. Now that it is 120 degrees plus, all the snowbirds are gone so what does that leave us? Meth addicts. I also get to really reach out to the culture because I meet with my clients in their home. For many of you, we grew up going on mission trips and the best part was if you got to do a homestay, my job is a cultural experience in home stays. I work in RV's, trailers, duplexes, and apartments and every once in awhile a home. Most places I visit have on average at least four animals. Some homes have dogs that will kill you. The most common smell is cigarrette smoke mixed with cat urine. Sometimes I get to come home with this smell. It may sound like I am totally dogging on AJ or my job, but in all actuality - I LOVE MY JOB! There is no other place I would want to work. When I get to AJ in the morning, all I can do is smile and sometimes laugh a little.

In Need Of Some Prayer

2006-03-06T10:31:00.000-07:00

To all you people who have been complaining about my lack of blogs :-( Here we go.... I guess I havent written because I feel like all I would do is get on here and complain and I dont enjoy complaining but really my life right now is focused around some hard to deal with situations. What I feel would really help right now is some prayer. I dont want to be taken advantage of and I dont want to take advantage of anyone else. I wish people would step up to take responsability of their fault. I am tired of the game, "it's not my fault!" Innocent bystanders are the people who get hurt and have to pay for the damages when people want to play the "not my fault" game. Please pray for me, that I would not let this problem consume me. Life does go on, even if we cannot make people be responsible. In two or three weeks this problem will be gone and I will have moved on. We will be able to finish our kitchen and live wonderfully in our new house. Please pray that I will only say things that I would want spoken to me. Pray that these people are concerned for the damage they have caused. Pray that this sistuation will go away! Thank you so much for reading this!

Professional Sports

2006-01-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

The world of professional sports boggles me. Maybe it is the state of our society that bothers me more, but because professional sports is the perfect example of what is wrong with society, they are the perfect thing to lash out at. Professional athletes get paid an outrageous amount of money to play a sport. I understand that at times it can be difficult, you can even get seriously injured doing your job. Many professional athletes are A-holes who cant manage their money and usually screw their lives up with it. I work in a field that is extremely underpaid, all the while meeting people who work in different agencies that are trying to shape and change our future. These organizations are usually understaffed and underpaid. Society makes shelters for abused and neglected children to feel better about themselves and yet dont pay attention when these shelters close because of lack of funding or the people who work there are not committed to it in the first place and are only working there to get a pay check. The people who have the experience and patience to work with this population are out trying to find the higher paying jobs so these CPS workers, shelter workers, Case management positions are being filled by inexperienced workers (mostly) just trying to get the next paycheck. If our society cared as much about its future as it did about its entertainment, then the people who are trying to save the future should be valued more that the people who just entertain us. I cannot sit in front of a TV and watch these bafoons tramp around in an arena or on a field the same way anymore. By supporting it I feel like I am saying it is ok. It is not ok for children to fall through the cracks of a system that no one is paying attention to. These shelters never have enough beds. Workers have to fight to get referals from the money-source to get kids out of abusive home and into shelters because they dont want to pay the prices of puting this kid up in a shelter. Most atheletes will make more than I could even dream about this year and I work in a system that has to fight for funding to get a child into a safe place. Because these places pay so pathetically, these places arent even really safe anymore. Take a kid out of an abusive home so they can go to an abusive shelter? What is wrong????

"I Have a Dream" by Martin Luther King, Jr.

2006-01-16T11:13:00.000-07:00

Delivered on the steps at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. on August 28, 1963. Source: Martin Luther King, Jr: The Peaceful Warrior, Pocket Books, NY 1968

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free.
One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land.
So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.
This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.
So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights.
The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. we must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.
We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" we can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Wary of Worship

2006-01-09T12:57:00.000-07:00

I have been chewing over worship and worship styles for probably the last six months. I know what kinds of worship services I enjoy and what types I dont enjoy. But it bothers me that I can go to a place and be involved in worship and then walk away and know that I was not lead to really worship, or there was something going on that really hindered true worship. What is it? What is worship? What is "needed" in order to worship? It is wrong if I am unable to come to a place of true worship in all kinds of worshipping environments, if there are not doing something unbiblical or heretical? What if the music distracts me, or the musicians distract me, or the music is not congregational friendly? Am I being caught up in something that is really not important and it is my fault that I find some of these things a hinderance? For the last few months, I thought I was worshipping. It was a different place and a different experience, I was trying to adjust but felt I could fall before God no matter what the music sounded like or how loud things were. But after a few months I realized I was thirsty for worship? I didnt understand how that could be, I was currently involved in worship, yet I was hungry for worship. I went as a guest to a new place and found that I was able to fully let go and worship God again. At that point I realized I had not been worshipping in my other environment. Something is off, something is hindering me. So thats why I wonder, what really makes up worship, what elements are needed? Is is possible for something to be wrong or missing and it is a hinderance? Or is it me?

The "Two-Cow Explanation" of what makes......

2005-12-08T13:47:00.000-07:00

THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES...
A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, BRITISH STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull,and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, CANADIAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count themagain and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan"countryside" and they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.

Little Things

2005-12-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

Matt and I slept in our new place last night. As I write this blog......wow, what a difficult morning. All of our stuff packed up, trying to find clothes for work, tripping over bags and boxes. Finally being in our own place though....WONDERFUL! So last night it was weird to only drive 20 miles home instead of 45 and get home in half the time it usually takes me. The whole things was just kinda weird because I have been there so much in the last three months but actually staying there to sleep was way different. We had some friends stop by with food for us (since our kitchen is not done) and it was perfect. I guess I was kinda worried about moving "out of town" and yet these wonderful people stopped by to just hang with us during our first weird night. Then another couple stopped by because they were in the neighborhood. It was so cool to have people over who were not working or cleaning something in our place. They were just there to hang out with us in our new pad. It was the little things these two couples did last night that made our first night out in Mesa so great!

The Place We Dont Live In

2005-11-28T12:56:00.000-07:00

Matt and I moved home the first week of September, we have been living with my parents since that time, hmmm......we are about to end of third full month of living with mom and dad. Gotta admit they've been great, its one of those "it's not you it's me" kinda situations. I love being with them but am so ready to leave. We bought a townhome in Mesa that needed some amazing work. To sum it up, we had mold so we ripped out all the kitchen cabinets and mold remidiation, which meant, tearing out the drywall in the kitchen and the master bedroom. We repaired the work ourselves after it was mold free. We also closed off a bedroom that had a balcony and we extended the wall around the staircase and the upstairs hallway wall, so we could get rid of the ugly wood banisters. I have pictures of what it looked like when we first bought it :-)

Missionaries

2005-11-14T11:12:00.000-07:00

I have been blessed with amazing friends who have left behind comforts we dont even think of to minister to people far far away. I love hearing about these peoples lives and wanted to share the happenings!
April Soberg (ooops, her last name is now Martinez). She serves faithfully over in the Dominican Republic. I have been there three times so I am totally and completely biased towards this one country. Her husband is Columbian and they recently were approved a Visa for him to travel with April to the United States for the holidays. There are people in this country who are denied Visas for three or four years. No reason as to why, the country can just say no. So on their first attempt, God provided a miracle and she is able to bring her husband to her home country and spend some good time with her family soon. April's busy season just ended. They have work teams come from the states during the summer to work on the Young Life camp in Jarabacoa and then after those months, they have Dominican kids come for a week to enjoy a Young life camp. It is just like the camps we have here in the states. They are an amazing time of fun and fellowship where the kids learn about Christ. This camp is amazing - see told you I was biased! These kids are forced to grow up so fast and provide for their families so it is amazing that Young Life has provided a place for them for at least one week of their summer, they can act their age and there are no expectations placed on them. This is also April's fundraising time. She has a yearly need of about $30,000.00 That is 100% donor based. Please get in touch with me if you would like some more information about this need.
I also have a friend who is about to start his mission over in Afghanistan. Man I am excited to hear about that one!

Here Comes The Sun

2005-11-10T16:36:00.000-07:00

I need the Sun. I think I would be in a lot of trouble if I lived somewhere that did not get a lot of sun. I have just been realizing for the last few days how happy the sun makes me feel. I spent the last two years in Colorado. They claim to have over 300 days of sunshine. I guess they kinda do, they just dont have a full 300 days of sunshine. I noticed my first problem without the sun during my first summer there. It would be sunny in the morning and afternoon and around 3:00, it would get overcast and rain for awhile. The problem was that I worked inside while it was sunny and got off right about the time is started to rain. I found I really missed the sun. Yesterday I was at a meeting and a ray of sun started creeping between two blinds in the window and the sun was on my back. I actaully straightened up and smiled when I felt it and my mood totally change. I found myself moving over as the sun moved through out the day. This morning it was a little overcast for my drive to work, the sun broke through the clouds for a few minutes and warmed my skin up. Immediately I noticed a change within me. I appreciate the gift of the sun.

A Graduation Picture

2005-10-27T14:48:00.000-07:00

These are my closest friends from Seminary: Brian (left) and John (right) or what seems to fit better, they are my bodyguards :-)

He's So Cute!!!

2005-10-27T14:17:00.000-07:00

I Hate My Job

2005-10-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

I have been very depressed and trying to work through this major transition of life back into what I use to know as comfort here in Arizona. I hated what I was doing in Arizona two years ago. So to remedy the situation, I let God break my will and my desires and decided it was finally time to seek out what He had intended for me. He was so incredibly faithful to me during this struggle. For any of you who know what my time at the Hyatt was like, you know how faithful He was to get me out of that situation. He led me clearly and directly to minister to people in the form of counseling. I loved the school process I loved even more, my internship. Coming back here, I was nervous to leave behind my place of employment in Colorado because it was such a good fit for me. Working in a secular environment, loving on people (children) the way God loved on the sinners and tax collectors. These people were letting me into their lives, in the process letting God in through me. I was criticized and condemned by people and to be honest, I was only criticized and condemned by Christians. It was expressed to me that my place should not be in a secular environment but a Christian environment. Where I could love on people and express God's love to them open and publicly. So I guess in their eyes, God's name has to be proclaimed in order for it to be a true ministry. I felt...... it is hard to put into words what I felt. I felt - squashed, destroyed...incomplete? I have left that behind and pressed on, knowing my place was with the sinners and lost. There is only one person I have to justify this decision to and I dont feel like He is asking for any justification for this decision. So with that said, I think I have found a great fit for me out here. I have been offered a job at Superstition Mountain Mental Health Center. I think I am going to call them on Monday to except the job where I will be working in the Intensive Child Treatment Program. Yep, I know - my last blog put me at a job with New Arizona Family. Not quite a good fit. The substance abuse population is a hard one and I really enjoy working with families and children. This process of being ok with being a secular counselor is what I spent probably the last year in Colorado coming to terms with and I just wanted to share a brief glimpse of that with everyone. To be open and honest, the majority of the church's response and many of my fellow Christian students hurt. It hurt a lot. But I feel comfortable in these clothes. I feel called to wear these clothes for now.

New Adventures

2005-10-03T15:15:00.000-07:00

Well Matt and I are back in Home Sweet Home: aka-Sunny Arizona. It took me two weeks of checking want ads, searching Career Builder every hour and countless interviews to find a position I excepted. I thought God had everything worked out for me before I even arrived home. There was a great residential clinic that was looking at me, I already had two phone interviews and they were just waiting on me to move back so I could come and visit the facility. I finally got home and made the call and found out enrollment was down so they were on a hiring freeze - Geez God, what am I suppose to do now? Start looking again? Dont you know Matt is in school and not not getting a job? Dont you know we just bought a townhome that is being renovated? Everything seemed to be off. I started looking around and jumping at every interview I could get. I am glad I came to my senses and decided I needed to give this job search back over to God. I turned down two job offers (which I have NEVER done before) because it just did not feel right. I start my new job tomorrow!!!! I am a therapist/counselor for New Arizona Family, Inc. (NAFI). I will be working with dual diagnosis/substance abuse clients in Tempe. They are mostly court-ordered so they are not happy or willing really to be seeing me. I have not worked with this population and dont have a lot of experience. I am basically just trusting God that this is where He wants me for now. I wanted to give the update because I am sure a lot of my blogs after tomorrow will probably be about the adventure I am about to start!!! :-)
New Arizona Family

Last Week in Colorado

2005-10-03T14:55:00.000-07:00

FROM SUNDAY, AUGUST 28th
I spent my last weekend hiking to 14,280 feet with Joey Stetser!!! We started at 9:30am at 11,240 feet (base camp). We summitted at 11:59 am (safest to peak before noon). The hike was amazing and it was one of the goals I had set for myself before I left Colorado. Joey you are awesome. Thanks for hiking this huge mountain with me on such a short notice. Gray's Peak is awesome. I hope I never do it again but I enjoyed the process.