The "Two-Cow Explanation" of what makes......

THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES...
A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, BRITISH STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull,and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, CANADIAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count themagain and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan"countryside" and they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.

Little Things

Matt and I slept in our new place last night. As I write this blog......wow, what a difficult morning. All of our stuff packed up, trying to find clothes for work, tripping over bags and boxes. Finally being in our own place though....WONDERFUL! So last night it was weird to only drive 20 miles home instead of 45 and get home in half the time it usually takes me. The whole things was just kinda weird because I have been there so much in the last three months but actually staying there to sleep was way different. We had some friends stop by with food for us (since our kitchen is not done) and it was perfect. I guess I was kinda worried about moving "out of town" and yet these wonderful people stopped by to just hang with us during our first weird night. Then another couple stopped by because they were in the neighborhood. It was so cool to have people over who were not working or cleaning something in our place. They were just there to hang out with us in our new pad. It was the little things these two couples did last night that made our first night out in Mesa so great!