In Need Of Some Prayer

To all you people who have been complaining about my lack of blogs :-( Here we go.... I guess I havent written because I feel like all I would do is get on here and complain and I dont enjoy complaining but really my life right now is focused around some hard to deal with situations. What I feel would really help right now is some prayer. I dont want to be taken advantage of and I dont want to take advantage of anyone else. I wish people would step up to take responsability of their fault. I am tired of the game, "it's not my fault!" Innocent bystanders are the people who get hurt and have to pay for the damages when people want to play the "not my fault" game. Please pray for me, that I would not let this problem consume me. Life does go on, even if we cannot make people be responsible. In two or three weeks this problem will be gone and I will have moved on. We will be able to finish our kitchen and live wonderfully in our new house. Please pray that I will only say things that I would want spoken to me. Pray that these people are concerned for the damage they have caused. Pray that this sistuation will go away! Thank you so much for reading this!

Professional Sports

The world of professional sports boggles me. Maybe it is the state of our society that bothers me more, but because professional sports is the perfect example of what is wrong with society, they are the perfect thing to lash out at. Professional athletes get paid an outrageous amount of money to play a sport. I understand that at times it can be difficult, you can even get seriously injured doing your job. Many professional athletes are A-holes who cant manage their money and usually screw their lives up with it. I work in a field that is extremely underpaid, all the while meeting people who work in different agencies that are trying to shape and change our future. These organizations are usually understaffed and underpaid. Society makes shelters for abused and neglected children to feel better about themselves and yet dont pay attention when these shelters close because of lack of funding or the people who work there are not committed to it in the first place and are only working there to get a pay check. The people who have the experience and patience to work with this population are out trying to find the higher paying jobs so these CPS workers, shelter workers, Case management positions are being filled by inexperienced workers (mostly) just trying to get the next paycheck. If our society cared as much about its future as it did about its entertainment, then the people who are trying to save the future should be valued more that the people who just entertain us. I cannot sit in front of a TV and watch these bafoons tramp around in an arena or on a field the same way anymore. By supporting it I feel like I am saying it is ok. It is not ok for children to fall through the cracks of a system that no one is paying attention to. These shelters never have enough beds. Workers have to fight to get referals from the money-source to get kids out of abusive home and into shelters because they dont want to pay the prices of puting this kid up in a shelter. Most atheletes will make more than I could even dream about this year and I work in a system that has to fight for funding to get a child into a safe place. Because these places pay so pathetically, these places arent even really safe anymore. Take a kid out of an abusive home so they can go to an abusive shelter? What is wrong????

Wary of Worship

I have been chewing over worship and worship styles for probably the last six months. I know what kinds of worship services I enjoy and what types I dont enjoy. But it bothers me that I can go to a place and be involved in worship and then walk away and know that I was not lead to really worship, or there was something going on that really hindered true worship. What is it? What is worship? What is "needed" in order to worship? It is wrong if I am unable to come to a place of true worship in all kinds of worshipping environments, if there are not doing something unbiblical or heretical? What if the music distracts me, or the musicians distract me, or the music is not congregational friendly? Am I being caught up in something that is really not important and it is my fault that I find some of these things a hinderance? For the last few months, I thought I was worshipping. It was a different place and a different experience, I was trying to adjust but felt I could fall before God no matter what the music sounded like or how loud things were. But after a few months I realized I was thirsty for worship? I didnt understand how that could be, I was currently involved in worship, yet I was hungry for worship. I went as a guest to a new place and found that I was able to fully let go and worship God again. At that point I realized I had not been worshipping in my other environment. Something is off, something is hindering me. So thats why I wonder, what really makes up worship, what elements are needed? Is is possible for something to be wrong or missing and it is a hinderance? Or is it me?

The "Two-Cow Explanation" of what makes......

THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES...
A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, BRITISH STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull,and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, CANADIAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count themagain and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan"countryside" and they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.

Little Things

Matt and I slept in our new place last night. As I write this blog......wow, what a difficult morning. All of our stuff packed up, trying to find clothes for work, tripping over bags and boxes. Finally being in our own place though....WONDERFUL! So last night it was weird to only drive 20 miles home instead of 45 and get home in half the time it usually takes me. The whole things was just kinda weird because I have been there so much in the last three months but actually staying there to sleep was way different. We had some friends stop by with food for us (since our kitchen is not done) and it was perfect. I guess I was kinda worried about moving "out of town" and yet these wonderful people stopped by to just hang with us during our first weird night. Then another couple stopped by because they were in the neighborhood. It was so cool to have people over who were not working or cleaning something in our place. They were just there to hang out with us in our new pad. It was the little things these two couples did last night that made our first night out in Mesa so great!

The Place We Dont Live In

Matt and I moved home the first week of September, we have been living with my parents since that time, hmmm......we are about to end of third full month of living with mom and dad. Gotta admit they've been great, its one of those "it's not you it's me" kinda situations. I love being with them but am so ready to leave. We bought a townhome in Mesa that needed some amazing work. To sum it up, we had mold so we ripped out all the kitchen cabinets and mold remidiation, which meant, tearing out the drywall in the kitchen and the master bedroom. We repaired the work ourselves after it was mold free. We also closed off a bedroom that had a balcony and we extended the wall around the staircase and the upstairs hallway wall, so we could get rid of the ugly wood banisters. I have pictures of what it looked like when we first bought it :-)

Missionaries

I have been blessed with amazing friends who have left behind comforts we dont even think of to minister to people far far away. I love hearing about these peoples lives and wanted to share the happenings!
April Soberg (ooops, her last name is now Martinez). She serves faithfully over in the Dominican Republic. I have been there three times so I am totally and completely biased towards this one country. Her husband is Columbian and they recently were approved a Visa for him to travel with April to the United States for the holidays. There are people in this country who are denied Visas for three or four years. No reason as to why, the country can just say no. So on their first attempt, God provided a miracle and she is able to bring her husband to her home country and spend some good time with her family soon. April's busy season just ended. They have work teams come from the states during the summer to work on the Young Life camp in Jarabacoa and then after those months, they have Dominican kids come for a week to enjoy a Young life camp. It is just like the camps we have here in the states. They are an amazing time of fun and fellowship where the kids learn about Christ. This camp is amazing - see told you I was biased! These kids are forced to grow up so fast and provide for their families so it is amazing that Young Life has provided a place for them for at least one week of their summer, they can act their age and there are no expectations placed on them. This is also April's fundraising time. She has a yearly need of about $30,000.00 That is 100% donor based. Please get in touch with me if you would like some more information about this need.
I also have a friend who is about to start his mission over in Afghanistan. Man I am excited to hear about that one!

Here Comes The Sun

I need the Sun. I think I would be in a lot of trouble if I lived somewhere that did not get a lot of sun. I have just been realizing for the last few days how happy the sun makes me feel. I spent the last two years in Colorado. They claim to have over 300 days of sunshine. I guess they kinda do, they just dont have a full 300 days of sunshine. I noticed my first problem without the sun during my first summer there. It would be sunny in the morning and afternoon and around 3:00, it would get overcast and rain for awhile. The problem was that I worked inside while it was sunny and got off right about the time is started to rain. I found I really missed the sun. Yesterday I was at a meeting and a ray of sun started creeping between two blinds in the window and the sun was on my back. I actaully straightened up and smiled when I felt it and my mood totally change. I found myself moving over as the sun moved through out the day. This morning it was a little overcast for my drive to work, the sun broke through the clouds for a few minutes and warmed my skin up. Immediately I noticed a change within me. I appreciate the gift of the sun.

A Graduation Picture

These are my closest friends from Seminary: Brian (left) and John (right) or what seems to fit better, they are my bodyguards :-)

He's So Cute!!!

I Hate My Job

I have been very depressed and trying to work through this major transition of life back into what I use to know as comfort here in Arizona. I hated what I was doing in Arizona two years ago. So to remedy the situation, I let God break my will and my desires and decided it was finally time to seek out what He had intended for me. He was so incredibly faithful to me during this struggle. For any of you who know what my time at the Hyatt was like, you know how faithful He was to get me out of that situation. He led me clearly and directly to minister to people in the form of counseling. I loved the school process I loved even more, my internship. Coming back here, I was nervous to leave behind my place of employment in Colorado because it was such a good fit for me. Working in a secular environment, loving on people (children) the way God loved on the sinners and tax collectors. These people were letting me into their lives, in the process letting God in through me. I was criticized and condemned by people and to be honest, I was only criticized and condemned by Christians. It was expressed to me that my place should not be in a secular environment but a Christian environment. Where I could love on people and express God's love to them open and publicly. So I guess in their eyes, God's name has to be proclaimed in order for it to be a true ministry. I felt...... it is hard to put into words what I felt. I felt - squashed, destroyed...incomplete? I have left that behind and pressed on, knowing my place was with the sinners and lost. There is only one person I have to justify this decision to and I dont feel like He is asking for any justification for this decision. So with that said, I think I have found a great fit for me out here. I have been offered a job at Superstition Mountain Mental Health Center. I think I am going to call them on Monday to except the job where I will be working in the Intensive Child Treatment Program. Yep, I know - my last blog put me at a job with New Arizona Family. Not quite a good fit. The substance abuse population is a hard one and I really enjoy working with families and children. This process of being ok with being a secular counselor is what I spent probably the last year in Colorado coming to terms with and I just wanted to share a brief glimpse of that with everyone. To be open and honest, the majority of the church's response and many of my fellow Christian students hurt. It hurt a lot. But I feel comfortable in these clothes. I feel called to wear these clothes for now.

New Adventures

Well Matt and I are back in Home Sweet Home: aka-Sunny Arizona. It took me two weeks of checking want ads, searching Career Builder every hour and countless interviews to find a position I excepted. I thought God had everything worked out for me before I even arrived home. There was a great residential clinic that was looking at me, I already had two phone interviews and they were just waiting on me to move back so I could come and visit the facility. I finally got home and made the call and found out enrollment was down so they were on a hiring freeze - Geez God, what am I suppose to do now? Start looking again? Dont you know Matt is in school and not not getting a job? Dont you know we just bought a townhome that is being renovated? Everything seemed to be off. I started looking around and jumping at every interview I could get. I am glad I came to my senses and decided I needed to give this job search back over to God. I turned down two job offers (which I have NEVER done before) because it just did not feel right. I start my new job tomorrow!!!! I am a therapist/counselor for New Arizona Family, Inc. (NAFI). I will be working with dual diagnosis/substance abuse clients in Tempe. They are mostly court-ordered so they are not happy or willing really to be seeing me. I have not worked with this population and dont have a lot of experience. I am basically just trusting God that this is where He wants me for now. I wanted to give the update because I am sure a lot of my blogs after tomorrow will probably be about the adventure I am about to start!!! :-)
New Arizona Family

Last Week in Colorado

FROM SUNDAY, AUGUST 28th
I spent my last weekend hiking to 14,280 feet with Joey Stetser!!! We started at 9:30am at 11,240 feet (base camp). We summitted at 11:59 am (safest to peak before noon). The hike was amazing and it was one of the goals I had set for myself before I left Colorado. Joey you are awesome. Thanks for hiking this huge mountain with me on such a short notice. Gray's Peak is awesome. I hope I never do it again but I enjoyed the process.